I am spending my child support on dildos
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
