I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize