How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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