Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
