ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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