I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize