I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
