I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
