Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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