You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
