hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
