Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
