There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
