Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

I haven't been laid since Bush was president.

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(415): View more from California

no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner

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(815): View more from Illinois

we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot

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(604): View more from British Columbia

My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.

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(720): View more from Colorado

At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......

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(205): View more from Alabama

i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend

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(941): View more from Florida

BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition

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