Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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