I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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