I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i believe in u and ur pee
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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