he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
