Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
