If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
