they need to just BURY HIM!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
