I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
