a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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