Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
