it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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