i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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