just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
