Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
