Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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