I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
