He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
