Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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