sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
