ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize