He had one of those small greek statue penises
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
