We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize