I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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