I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
