This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
