Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
