you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
