NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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