More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
being pregnant is like rehab
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
