Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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