I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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