when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
