I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
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