Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
