Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
