it wasn't lemon gatorade
I seem to have left my pride at pride
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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