This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
