he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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