Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Randomize
