So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
