dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
