I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I need to calm my uterus...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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