we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize