I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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