Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We are two peas in an std pod
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
