i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
