6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I've blown a few things in my day
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
