It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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