Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
